Before I had realised the value of community I was a person who lived my life singularly. I wouldn’t ask for help and I didn’t believe I needed anyone in my life. I was disconnected from those people around me and would socialise with my friends and associates “on my terms” and would only give up information about myself in a calculated and selected manner. Not even my best friends could contribute to my life, even though they wanted to.
Then I decided to put a community event together. In doing this I had elected to have a coach and a community of people around me to help me through the processes of putting the event together.
All was going well until my coach and I started rubbing each other up the wrong way. I immediately, kicked into my “I don’t need this” and “I will do this on my own” way of being and everything started falling apart. It was then that I became aware for the first time my decision not to allow others to contribute to my life wasn’t allowing myself to have the successes that I craved. For the first time in my life I really understood my life-long habit of holding people at a distance was hurting me more than it was hurting everyone else around me.
So from that moment on I made a decision to allow others to contribute to me and my life and for the first time in my life things really started to work. It started slowly at first. I found myself a “buddy” and shared my hopes and dreams with her like I had never shared them before. She in turn shared hers with me. Very quickly we really started only seeing each other as incredible and awesome and amazing. Through our sharing we started to see each other as what we wanted to be rather than who we were. We then naturally became a stand for each other’s successes and held each other accountable for our word. We became each other’s champions!! It is hard to believe in your smallness if you have someone constantly in your ear telling you about how great you are. Pretty soon I realised that I “needed” people in my life who saw me for my greatness and not my smallness and I was cheating myself if I didn’t. I was truly being acknowledged for who I was for the first time in my life. I was truly acknowledging my buddy for who they were for the first time in her life.
Through our excitement for the sudden understanding of the positive impact of having a “buddy” in our lives we started attracting others to our buddy system. I introduced a 2nd buddy to my world. I shared my hopes and dreams with her just as I was doing it before. Then something amazing happened. The 3 of us had without, our knowing or understanding had created a community. Through our community suddenly the impossible became possible. Things started happening really quickly at that point.
Jobs that were unattainable before, became attainable, dreams that were whimsical before, became a reality and successes started flowing in. I got the most amazing job, that fit within a pre-written dream script. I was so passionate about what I wanted for myself and my life and so empowered by having a community behind me that believed in me and had no tolerance for anything other than me being the best I could be, that I accidentally enrolled my employer into my life and he provided me with the facility for me to make it happen. The others in this little community also started having incredible successes as well. Our lives were unspeakable amazing.
How did it happen? It happened because my self-made community believed in each other so completely, that no matter what we as individuals decided to do, no matter how whimsical, or crazy the idea was, they were so enrolled in my greatness and I was so enrolled in theirs that we became such a stand for each other’s possibilities. It was now impossible to fail! For the first time in my life I really got to understand what unconditional love and acceptance was.
What’s great is I created this community by myself, and in so doing I created my future! I am sure it will grow bigger and when this happens I can hardly imagine what will be possible. I need them, because without them my life just doesn’t work.
I also understand that it is so important for me to ensure that my community is healthy and happy, and that each of my community of buddies is fulfilling on their potential as well. Their belief in their smallness is not acceptable to me and my life any more than my belief in my smallness is acceptable to them and their lives. I now realise for the first time, that they must truly believe in their own greatness and be successful in their lives, for me to succeed in my life. While I have this community, I absolutely cannot fail, because they will ensure I have all the facilities available to me to make whatever I want happen.
If they don’t get it, I don’t get it!
If they get it, everything I want for myself and my life is possible!
Kate Taylor (Brisbane, Australia)